QotD

When did the term, GUARANTEE, lose complete meaning?

The dictionary defines the term as: Something that assures a particular outcome or condition

The objective word here being 'assures'. If I am assured that something will happen, then it is no longer my concern, i KNOW that it will happen, 100%, certain. For me, the word 'guarantee' carries a finality, a conclusiveness with no doubt of the outcome. If my jello is guaranteed to jiggle, then there is NO way that it won't. If the movie is guaranteed to kick ass, then I won't be requesting my money back from management 20 minutes into it.

Now that we know how i feel, lets discuss why I'm upset by this. I watch a lot of SciFi channel or TNT or TBS, I'm a cable movie kinda guy. Problem is, these channels tend to run the same commercials day in and day out during their movies. Most of them being drug commercials for erection problems or the inability to grab my OJ in the morning cause my arthritis has invaded every inch of my body. Or the oven baster will make my turkey the juciest i've ever placed in my mouth.

Some of this seems genuine as i fully believe that advertisers have learned from the past and have somehow managed to tap that believability gene in everyone and convince us that what they are selling is genuine. I'm pretty certain that this isn't the case. So, my point here is if i'm going to spend my hard earned money on this prodcuct, and you guarantee it, why is it only for 30 days, or why will you be giving my money back if i'm not satisfied? If it's guaranteed, there's no reason you need to be concerned about giving me my money back. Have you, the purveyor of your product lost complete faith in your product, or are you trying to just make a buck by bullshitting me?

I know the answer to the question, but have you no decency sirs?