TARGET DOG!!!!

great commercials and i love them singing about the dog at the end. dunno why, but i want a t-shirt with a pic of the dog on the front. and maybe the soundbyte of them singing that when i get new mail. although, i haven't quite yet gotten tired of the current soundbyte, "mail, motherfucker!"

so i'm a closet target shopper. to me, target and wal-mart are the same store, and yet, i feel more at home in target. i don't know if it's cleaner stores or less racially intensive or just that they have a dog, but i like the store. i like dreaming of taking home one of every piece of 'put it together yourself' furniture. i don't even need to keep the furniture, i just like putting it together. i like the fluffly bath mats and varying selection of woks and electric mixers and even the patio furniture (not that i have a patio to put it on, but i can dream, right?) complete with umbrella. so imagine my surprise when target's ever changing and quite diverse selection of products added a new item for sale. and it even includes a decent return policy.

two new cool movie trailers

if you liked Hero, then it looks like this'll be more of the same.

House of Flying Daggers

and is it scary in here or is it just me?

Darkness

plus, it has Lena Olin in it. she's dreamy.

aerosmith, america's premier sountrack band

so, Any and i are driving back from our new favorite hangout and love in an elevator comes on and it just seems so appropriate considering i just spent the last hour and a half in the 80s. after a luncheon with the sabre group guys (my biker group) last week at a little place in richardson called the main street liquid company, we've been going back ever since. not because they have good food and not because the drinks are so strong, i feel tempted to kick a rhino in the balls and then ask him what he's gonna do about it. and not becaue the waitresses are attractive in a way that you can't really use any known human language to explain or even because the entire bar has a warm, inviting glow drenching the hardwood floor to ceiling walls that make up most of the bar. it's cause they play huey lewis and the news, followed up by zztop and some early 80's madonna mixed in for good measure. and forget the fact that they have texas hold em two nights a week and drink specials that make me want to test out the rhyno's patience. and forget about the female oil wrestling on thursday nights. yeah, you heard me right. it's gotta be because the nice, young lady that served us tonight looks like she's got the miami vice soundrack in her 8-track player in her gremlin parked out back. it's gotta be the bleach-blonde, curly hair-do and the gold, chain link belt wrapped around a black mini skirt. and even more so, forget that she can't even spell the words mini skirt, but i love this place. sunday night, we had drinks and dinner at the bar where the female bartender was just nasty enough to not smile once to anyone in the bar, but wash glasses directly in front of us all evening in a low cut t-shirt that let us know that she believes in personal hygiene and a smooth, close cut. Any and i were caught up in the moment so much, we spent the evening discussing our high school years and how fat our prom dates probably were by now. we had our usual drinks and a shot followed up by another shot to make sure i sat here tonight and told everyone about it.

now who's cool, bitch?

if there was any doubt that gaming isn't cool, check this out

World of Warcraft intro

fuck epic scale films, i don't have to get up from my desk to see something that Bruckheimer couldn't do on his best day.

dobra

You really don't remember, was it something that he said?
all the voices in your head calling, Dobra?Dobra (Dobra),
I think they got your number (Dobra)
I think they got the alias (Dobra) that you've been living under (Dobra)

ok, so i'm off a bit. and i'm not laura brannigan, but it seemed like a good tune to hum while posting about my girl. i've finally got a few pics to show you now that i've gotten the work done. funny thing. i went to a vacant parking lot in front of an office building today to get some pics and the security guard thought i was photographing the building. demands were made, photos were taken, i pulled the "i got your nose!" trick on him with my thumb between my fingers. he didn't find that very funny. anyway, we hugged and made up, i gave him his nose back along with a twenty to keep his yap shut about the pics and showed him some nekkid pics of my ex-girlfriend i still had on the camera. i got to shoot all kinds of pics of dobra and the building and the security guard and the justice league headquarters. overall, it was a good shoot.

so here are some pics: pic 1, pic 2, pic 3, pic 4
2 and 3 really show off the new drag bars and 3 gives some nice close-up details of all the chrome i put on the top end there with the bars. 4 shows the new brake and blinkers. hope you likey.

think i used the word 'pic' enough here?

sad, so very sad

i used to play City of Heroes. I enjoyed it for about two months, but after two months of playing, i grew bored of it and gave up. Great game, but nothing that really excited me after playing for that period of time. NCSoft, the makers of CoH, sponsored a halloween costume contest. Dress up like your character. This is wrong in two ways:
1. some of these people should not be dressing up like this
2. these people really have way to much time on their hands to building these elaborate costumes

check it out

couple of hot chicks, but way to many women in tight stretchy costumes who haven't read my rule #1. and you wonder why they wear masks? light. they've never seen it before. it's painful. sunlight is damaging to those who've never seen it. i say the next time they have a costume contest like this, they don't allow the players to dress up, but contract out women from The Lodge instead. so much of a better idea.

it has begun

if you are sitting near a tv or radio, quick, turn it on and wait for a commercial. what do you hear? crimmus advertising. i know it actually began at the beginning of the month, because i remember starting to hear commercials and music on halloween. the silly season gets here earlier and earlier every year. i've got mixed feelings about the holidays. on one hand, i enjoy the cheer and family time and the overall pleasant demeanor of everyone, but on the other hand, i hate the advertising and the corporateness and the expectations. i'm not a complete scrooge, because it's nice to hang out with family (in small doses). but i've been pushing, for years now to give up gift giving with my family. we all make enough money that we usually end up buying the things we really want ourselves and then struggle to put together a list of viable items that someone else will spend their money on that i don't really need. this also causes my mother to get upset b/c no one ever puts together a list until it's to late and anything that does show up on the list is out of everyone's price range. i don't need the ferrari, but you asked for a list, so i want five of them. or else i end up with clothing that i'll never wear or ends up getting put in the back of the closet in a box because i don't want to hurt someone's feelings by taking it back. the whole practice is a double edged sword, because you don't want to upset anyone by saying "hey, not a single present i opened contained a single thing on my list". now i'm stuck with designer socks and plaid shirts and a movie that i'd never buy, but you can't say that you didn't want any of these items and you certainly can't reinforce that argument by mentioning that you didn't want to trade gifts to start with. that just makes you the asshole. the problem is, my siblings and i are at ages where we don't need presents, but our kids do, so since we are getting them gifts, we feel obligated to get each other a warm beanie with a fuzzy ball on a string. then there's the problem of finding something for my parents who have everything. i can always use a palm pilot or a new computer (*cough*alienware*cough*), but they have everything. and i mean, everything. so we either end up getting them something cheap or something overly expensive. the cheap item is interesting. it's almost like they don't bother even opening it. they just take the item and while we are all sitting there, put it on a top shelf in the hall closet. it's that "i told you i don't need anything and now you got me something cheap and i'm done trying to play this game politely and wait until you've left before i put it in a closet somewhere and forget about it" game and no one is upset by the game and everyone expects the game, but it's friggin' crimmus, so it's time to play the game. if it's overly expensive, then it usually means a few hours to put it together and wire it up and it'll get used, but it means sacrificing our kid's college fund to do it. all because we have to buy gifts to keep the holidays happy even though we should just forget about the gift giving and just spend quality time together watching 'dude, where's my car?'. like every good family should...

it's more torture on my little sister, because she doesn't live here with us. she hates where she lives and has always been a family girl. she left here to go there for a job and loves the job, but hates the town and misses her family. she just knows that in a week's time, she's gotta go back to that shitty town where her homesickness has been patiently brewing and waiting for her. and the rest of us hate to see her leave, cause she's the only one that laughs in this family. the rest of us are miserable fucks by 2 in the afternoon and want to just sulk in our chairs watching the game while eating for 9.5 hours straight.

and i know that none of this sounds alien to anyone. i'm sure you all have the same type of day, but why not change things up a bit? do something different. try the no gift thing one year and see if we all survive. if it doesn't work, there's always next year. i have three beanies, i don't need another one.

i do have to admit that i still love stockings. my mom, uh, i mean santa, always puts time in on these and we get great little trinkets like gourmet coffee and enough M&Ms to choke a reindeer and the odd toys that i think she buys in flea markets, but those are always cool.

i just think it's time to start new traditions. giving up gifts (which i guess is what this post has turned into) doesn't mean giving up family time and fun. it just means we'll be able to pay our electricity bill in december and january.

verification on tha intarweb?

despite some recent posts about Halo, it is not the game i've been looking forward to for the last year or so. Today, Half Life 2 was released and i'm currently wedging my big toe between two doors of a cabnet here in my cube at work so i can go home with a broken foot. early release is eminent. if not, i'll have the chick next to me give me a quick, swift kick to the balls. that'll create that pained, teary-eyed effect that i need when i tell my boss that my grandma just died (for the 6th time this year). if you've never heard of half life, then crawl out from under that fucking rock you've been living under for the last 6 years and discover the all-time best FPS ever built. above halo, above quake, above battlefield and above mario (and his bro, loogey). since it's original release, i've played halflife from front to back about 9 times (not counting the two large add-on packs released for it). a game that took me about 3 months the first time, i can now get thru in two solid days. and i never get tired of it. and knowing that HL2 was to be released a year ago until some punk assed bitch ganked the code from valve, i've been foaming at the mouth since. well, the time has come. i picked up the collectors edition (ignore the previous rants about special eds) for a hefty $79, but it includes the full game, a t-shirt, a book with hunnets of pics and artwork from the game as well as the source port for the original and the all-time biggest mod, evar, counter-strike. the source port is basically taking the old game and porting it into the new engine use for the new game. makes everything purdy. if you've never heard of counter-strike, then you don't know dick about online MP gaming. i'll definitely be burning the midnight oil esta noche. what's interesting about the game is even though it's a single player game, installation requires a verification with the game's company, valve, online for the game to work. this keeps us hackars from using a warez copy. otherwise, the game won't run.



long live gordon!
|-|4|_f |_1f3 |20x0|25 j00|2 |30x0|25!!!11!!!

update
it's now 5:45 pm and i've been trying to log on to create my account with valve to verify the game i've installed. as it turns out, the game was released today, WORLDMUTHERFUCKINWIDE and the servers are so bogged down, that no one can connect. i've hit message boards and everyone is getting the same logon error that i'm receiving, so valve, you really screwed the pooch on this one. stupid fucking idea to require us to log in to register the game before we want to play it (even if we're only playing offline) and then releasing quite possibly, the biggest game in years and not having proper support. did every single MMORPG release not teach you a lesson? dumb motherfuckers. i'll be damned if i'm gonna get fucked outta my $86.

disturbing

it's geniuses like this that make me happy to be here. this guy has done some amazing work with flash. chapter 2 is my favorite.

SICK DREAMS

unrated and director's cuts

i love movies. i figure that's pretty evident by now for those of you who have followed this reckless and sometimes, cumbersome discourse. i think i'll have that put on my epitaph - "he liked movies". i loved to be entertained by those that can. i love a great plot. i love something that makes me think. i also love things that don't require any thinking. **see my rating on Mean Girls**

what i don't like is a feeble attempt at selling me something by throwing a bunch of tangible adjectives in my face to cover up the fact that i'm watching the same old, shitty movie i saw in the theaters. this is the current advertising ploy for DVDs and movies. "See it the way the director intended you to see it." "Check out the version to hot for the theaters!" this is all crap. they slap huge banners all over the cover of the DVDs covering up stuff that we thought we'd never see in this film and trick us into spending our money on something that's no more than an extended, european trailer. my real question here is this - how 'unrated' can a PG13 movie really be?

sometimes it's not even an addition to the movie itself. sometimes, it's them slapping a topless girl into the menu or the addition of two scenes that look like they belong in Gone with the Wind instead of the Jackie Chans film you thought you rented. so we have an additional 3.7 seconds of Angelina Jolie's tits, that probably ended up on the cutting room's floor purely by accident and the director didn't even realize it.

these are terms and catch phrases that are supposed to intrigue and wow us. a few years ago, it was the over use of the term 'extreme'. i used to enjoy watching the extras and now i'm lucky just to find the original trailer. i don't think i'm interested in 96 minutes of a behind the scenes look at the costume designer for My Baby's Daddy. it's unexciting and bothersome. and if you're going to give me additional footage, make it exciting. if i've got the director commentary on why the scene was cut and he sounds bored to tears or says he can't even figure out why the scene was filmed, then what makes them think that i'd want to watch it?

grown up and immature

someone recently posted an anonymous comment stating

I am an old women,well into my 50's. I read your archives. I know you were trying to be funny,but you are Vulgar. I thought you must be a teen-ager trying to sound like a big man. Your profile says you are a grown up. I will not use mature. I guess any attention is good for some people.

While i appreciate feedback on my comments and it's nice to know that not just the same people are reading this, i need to inform you, old women (are you representing all women over the age of 50 or was that just a typo?) that i'm not here to please you. If you find my comments amusing or vulgar or feel indifferently about them, i encourage you to state so, but this blog is here for me and no one else. It's just icing on the cake that others read it and occasionally find it amusing. this blog is like the little pink diary you had back in the 60's where you used to record your every thought. mine just happens to be electronic, my little lock is replaced with online security and it's not pink. i stated in my very first post that while my alias wasn't intended to be offensive, i, myself, may be. yes, i swear a lot. yes, i state my opinion. and yes, i and my comments may be vulgar sometimes, but that's just who i am. i gave up a long time ago being concerned about what others thought of me.

I'm fairly well educated, well spoken and well read and in person, i'm a pretty decent guy. i do voice my opinion openly, but i also believe in common courtesy and tact, so who i am here may not be how i am in person, 100% out of that common courtesy for others. And my parents taught me that if i can't say something nice about someone, make sure they're out of the fucking room. So, ultimately, if you don't like it, i'm sorry, but no one is forcing you to read any of this.

where did the time go?

I'm finally getting back to a normal schedule after being out of town last week. i left last monday afternoon for training in Atlanta (yeah, Hot-lanta, i know. why is it necessary for everyone to say that? I hate the fucking town). i didn't get back until late last friday night and spent the rest of the weekend resting and laying around. now i'm back to a normal work schedule and i seem to have run out of time to accomplish everything i want to do. granted, most of what i want to do has nothing to do with work, but when am i going to find a company that will only work me four hours a day and pay the same i'm making now? i know you are out there, you silly little job, come and find me. I'll be here in my cube with my feet on the desk, patiently awaiting your arrival.

J finally left the company and he's all angry cause we didn't throw him a going away party. i don't guess it matters that i didn't know he had gotten a new job till yesterday at lunch. and considering he's in class every night, when exactly are we supposed to celebrate your leaving?

so, back to my time management issues. i just picked up my copy of Halo 2 and i'm itching to walk out of the building and go kill hordes of alien badguys, but someone said we actually had to work a full day around here. on top of halo, dobra is in the shop right now getting the finishing touches on her front end overhaul. i started taking her apart last night and apparently, i chose one of the most difficult parts to start messing with (switch housings) and got half of the first put back together and got lost. that screw goes where? so i ran by my local dealer to ask some questions and the mechanic just laughed in my face. so, bright and early this morning, i dropped her off with all of her new enhancements and my trusty honda mechanics set forth on rebuilding her. kind of a boob and nose job for a motorcycle. with lots of shine. so, she will be ready this afternoon and i have a get-together with the guys from the group tonight to hit rons and skoots so i can show off my new enhancements. my final mod this year will start this friday with getting her back shocks cut 2" and then i'm done. something about crimmus and presents...

and finally, speaking of no time, my being out of town gave Any a chance to lapse in his hype to get his scooter, so i think he's starting to second guess the purchase again. he hasn't signed up for the class yet and it's almost getting to the point of being to late to do so. everyone needs to nag him and leave him nasty messages to keep him in check.