let the hating begin

this is mostly for the gamers out there that read this pile of trash, but i thought i'd let you all know that i just picked up the GeForce 6800 OC 128 MB. the OC stands for overclocked which for you non-technical people out there means they crank the card's abilities up more so than it's normally meant to be which does two things - it puts out a superior video product and produces ungodly amounts of heat. two processors and two fans plus a full copy of Far Cry and demos of Splinter Cell: Pandora Tomorrow, Silent Storm and Painkiller. Yeah Justin, i'll finally have some painkiller on the box. But the real test was HL2. I fired that sucker up in 3 different play modes: Multiplayer, Counter-Strike and the single player game. I maxed out the settings on all video and set the resolution at 1280x1024 and was still getting over 60 FPS. I can't honestly say i've seen anything this beautiful since i caught my aunt bertha naked back when i was 15. I plan on installing Far Cry again and giving that a go and i'll probably give Doom 3 another run just to see how it functions. I believe Doom was actually built around the GeForce technology, so it'll run silky smooth with this card. Now comes the other reason why you guys will loathe me. I only paid $250 for the card. Granted, this isn't the GT which may add a couple more frames, but for a ghastly hundred bucks more which is just silly. my $500 video card buying days are over. Best Buy has the card (made by BFG - which comes with a lifetime warranty) for $300, but i brought in a printout of Outpost's listing for $250 and they matched the price. today is definitely my lucky day.

QotD

What would it take to blow up another planet in our immediate galaxy?

We know we have an abundance of nukular warheads, weapons of mass destrukshon, neutron bombs and a fuck ton of black cats, so can we pack all those into one nice, neat little package and go blow up jupiter? the reason i ask is because aliens from jupiter are about to attack earth and i think we should get the jump on them. something similar to the history eraser button, but just use it one someone else. i'm not kidding. i've never been so serious in my life. i had a dream last night that aliens were attacking earth and we needed to blow up their planet to save ourselves. now, in the dream, it wasn't specifically jupiter, but i just figured since it was such an ugly planet, we could just do away with that one. bringing up the above stated question of how are we to do this? and more importantly, how can we get all my ex-girlfriends on that planet before we hit the button? honestly, i have no idea how to do this. i'm such a peace loving, caring individual, that the thought of violence disturbs me.

this also raises another question that would need to be answered and one i find almost more important than destroying a race, nay, a planet and that is this: what happens to the rest of the system once that planet is removed? does it collapse in on itself? do the outer planets turn into one big connect four game and slide into place where the missing planet previously held that position? do we all cave in and tumble towards the sun? is destruction of our solar system imminent? if so, do you think Heidi Klume is busy tomorrow night? cause my threesome with princess amadala wouldn't be a threesome without Heidi.

I think i've raised some good and very valid questions here that i think science and maybe, Mr. Spock should address. but this needs to be done very quickly. cause i just don't know when those aliens will be attacking.

i'm starting to feel really old

when i was 20, i had no concept of time or the future. it was all about the now. drinking, playing soccer, drinking some more, playing some more soccer, school occasionally and a girlfriend if i really cared. ask Any, he'll attest to this as well. i hit 30, five years ago and the concept of age started creeping into my mind, but wasn't prevalent. still plenty of drinking, school was long past done, work ruled my life and a steady psycho for a girlfriend. now i'm 35 and my body is creaking and falling apart and paining me on a daily basis. i now drink in moderation and going out on a weekend night is something i'd rather avoid. how times change. and i didn't really take notice until about 20 minutes ago when i was putting up some things i'd just purchased from the store. namely, pain killers. my medicine cabinet is beginning to look like a pharmacy. no joke. i've got allergy medication, gelcaps for drainage in my head, muscle relaxers and anti-inflamatories for my back, headache medicine, generic pain killers, daily vitamins that have 5 or 6 different pills in each package and some new cough drops to dull the pain in my throat (which kills the pain, but these cold-eeze are as flavorful as sucking on a tin can). and there's plenty more where that came from. and no, i'm not taking every single one of those on a daily basis, but it's getting out of hand. i'm now starting to vaguely understand what my parents were going thru at my age and wonder what it'll be like in ten or fifteen years. just give me my walker and make sure i get across the street ok, will ya?

Hi! My name is LBG, and i'm a geek...

1 l1k3 70 0wn23r p30pl3 l1k3 Cy4n1d3, 1t'5 73h b0mb! 7h1s 16 h0w 0n3 5p34k5 1n l337. Pr377y 4nn0y1n9, d0n'7 j00 7h1nk?

it's funny how those who are not computer savvy (and i'm grouping those people in a broad, very general sweep) - internet, email, gaming, blogging, hardware, PWNED!, etc. consider the rest of us who are as a geek or a nerd. for years, i believed i was and finally, last year, i got my first girlfriend and got laid. it only took me 47 years, but i guess living with my mon until i was 36 didn't help either. funny thing is, these are just stereotypes that we thought we'd given up in high school. we get grouped by our activities as a jock, a cheerleader, a freak, a nerd, a band geek and we were always concerned about what others thought of us. now we've grown up and although we know that what another thinks of us affects us, not in the least, we still shiver to think of being labeled a nerd or a geek. funny how that works. especially considering most of you labeling us will be calling us boss at some point in the future. also considering, the ones calling us these names are kids in an online bulletin board or in a game we play.

i'll openly admit that i'm a gamer. a fanatic and for a long time, i was wary of admitting that, but the game industry has changed and it involves more people around the world than any other pasttime (except maybe llama tossing). yes, i play games. my release and escape from real life^© is playing a game. and i play all types. i slaughter aliens from other planets. i build massive, bustling cities. i roleplay in fantasy lands as an orc and i switch gem places to create rows. i do it and i love it. it's who i am. do i still like the outside world? do i fear light? does human interaction make me clam up? i love the outside world, i love the sun and i love interacting with others, especially, face to face. my interaction isn't limited to online chat sessions and emoticons.

so what's my point? i'm proud of who i am. i don't care what you think. and neither do these people. read the posts. they are funny. they are revealing. they are human.

oh, and if you didn't get the first line, you obviously don't speak leet. I like to own people like Cyanide, it's the bomb! This is how one speaks in leet. Pretty annoying, don't you think?

decorating, it's not just for fags anymore

i was presented with this crimmus decoration last night from my girlfriend. she made it herself.

not rudolph's best moment

the card reads - Now even the straight guy can greet the Holidays with THE STRAIGHT WREATH! Nothing faggy about it!

i guess i'd made a comment the last time we discussed decorating for crimmus about how i liked the elaborate colors and lights and decorations people put up for crimmus, but i didn't think i was gay enough to do a good job. well, that's what i get for opening my big mouth.

notice the particulars like the lures, bow made of duct tape (and colored), colored beer bottles and the bra and panties on rudoph's ears. oh, and the wreath isn't round, IT'S STRAIGHT...

thanks stacy, yer the best.

joke

How many Freudians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
two - one to screw in the bulb and one to hold the penis.



Ladder! I meant ladder!!

she's a hooker, right?

so, last night, Any and i head out to our favorite tavern for some dinner around eight (after the OC was over, of course) and we plop down at the bar and the conversation goes something like this:

bartender1: ...so she's waving these big ole titties around in my face and...oh hey guys, what'll you have?
any: gimme a corona
me: bud light
bartender2: you guys here for the oil wrestling?



any: sorry, did you say oil wrestling?
me: we are now...
bartender1: so these titties man, she's waving them ...

and the evening continued as such. i got served the wrong order, but ended up with a pretty tasty piece of prime rib and mashed potatoes. we're just listening to the virtues of bolt-ons by bartender number one, who's become our best friend and has now included us in on every sordid detail of of his sex life and some woman sits down right next to any. very attractive woman, in her late 30s, pretty face, nice hair, bright blue eyes and as she nuzzles up to the bar, so do her heavy C cups. she then proceeds to spend the next hour and a half getting to know us. what we do, where we're from, etc. we had an extensive discussion about the fatboy and why the sportster just wasn't the same motorcycle it used to be...

her: so what do you guys do for a living?
me: i'm in project management for IT with cingular.

blank stare

me: you know when you turn your cell phone on and you can do things like text and recall old numbers and use stuff like rollover? i work the projects that makes that...
her: and you?
any: i work with plastic.

queue cricket symphony

b1: ...and she's on her knees and in her mouth...

well, the DJ gets the music going for karaoke, we order another round of shots and any's new girlfriend excuses herself to the lady's room.

her: will you watch my chardonnay? (placing her napkin and cigarette pack on top of the glass ever so delicately)
any: dude, she's rubbing the inside of my thigh and my bicep. she won't let go. i think i'm golden.
me: what bicep?
any: i'm serious man.
me: so she's a hooker, right?
any: that's what i was thinking.
b1: i've got her bent over the hood of my dad's 64 chevy...
me: yeah, she's gotta be.

and again, this is how our evening continued. the women that were to be wrestling in oil later...

b1: dude, they're hookers...

...sauntered around the bar selling tickets, tempting drunken idiots like ourselves to actually get in the ring with them.

b1: man, that one's got a vicious left hook. they don't fuck around up there. they beat the shit outta each other. no shit. see the one with the huge tits? she will FUCK YOU UP!

the DJ starts a techno song with a heavy base beat

b1/b2 in unison: hey! it's dance on the bar thursday!!!

all 3 of the oil women climb up on the bar right next to me and proceed to shake anything that will. the back of the bar is mirrored, so we get to see the show from both points of view.

we paid our tab out later, hugged our newest friends, exchanging numbers and promised christmas cards this year and help building the custom chopper kit on the way.

the mcgriddles were good this morning.

welcome back

Welcome back, Your dreams were your ticket out.
Welcome back, To that same old place that you laughed about.
Well the names have all changed since you hung around,
But those dreams have remained and they're turned around.
Who'd have thought they'd lead ya (Who'd have thought they'd lead ya)
Here where we need ya (Here where we need ya)
Yeah we tease him a lot cause we've got him on the spot, welcome back,
Welcome back, welcome back, welcome back.

she made it. my little sister is coming back home. after 6+ interviews with fossil, she was offered a position with the company as a buyer (i believe) with all the extras that i think she never expected, but we're all excited and proud of her. so i guess the notice goes in with her current employer and she'll be back for good just before crimmus. guess we'd better find her a place to live now.

congrats small!