oldschool

for those that need to kill a quick five minutes and would like to play an online game, go 1-D, oldschool style. everyone's a winner.

clear!

for those tactical gaming freaks out there, SWAT 4 is about to be released and if you were a fan of any of the previous games, i'm reading that you're going to love the new one. i spent countless months playing SWAT 3 and not because it stands out any different from the rainbow games, but because it had an aspect that gave it reality: non-lethality. advancing up through the ranks to become an officer in the game required you to complete missions without killing a certain number of hostiles. the more you kept alive, the more points you made and the faster up the ranks you crept. apparently, this hasn't changed at all, but the interface and graphics are better in the new game. reading a review of it at Warcry confirmed this and kept me giggling about it as well.

There’s a lot of entertainment factor involved in using only non-lethal subdue tactics. I mean, seriously, is there anything better than firing a bean-bag out of a shotgun into a guy’s crotch? After careful study and lab work, the results all came back the same: there is not . . . Ever fired a bean-bag into a hysterical old woman? I have, and it was delicious.

read the preview here. and to top it off, it has a co-op version for those late nights when you and your buddy feel like getting into a beanbag fight. and the game was built by Irrational Games, the guys who released Tribes: Vengeance, late last year, so you know it's gonna be good.

/prostitute

i've sent the information along to most of you, but Justin found a good article on it and i felt it was necessary to put up the info regarding advertising inside the gaming world. According to the article, some serious consideration has been taken regarding successful advertising within the confines of the world of a game. this began as an implementation that Everquest is adding to their MMO next week in a patch that allows players to order pizza (in real life) via the in-game menu. a slash command is a way to interact with the game, other players, communicate, create actions, etc by using the slash key and then stating the command (like the title of the blog). EQ has created the '/pizza' command, the patch that's going in next week which will allow users, within the game, to order pizza from Pizza Hut without having to exit the game. for those of us who are MMO fanatics (i play another MMO, not EQ), this is a great addition to the game. some would say it makes us lazy bastards, and to a degree, i agree, but gamers will be gamers and why not make your customers happy by offering them everything they could want in their virtual worlds. i made the point to Justin that what needs to happen is instead of opening a browser outside of the game to the pizza hut website, the game should allow NPCs (non player characters - characters in the game, not real players, like myself) to sell us pizzas in every city in the game, deduct it from the credit card that Sony (the publisher of EQ) has on file for us and automatically deduct it from the card and have pizza delivered to us in real life. well, apparently this has been covered and is being implemented in the future, according to the article.

the article also discusses advertising in game for future games and how this could be implemented successfully and how it could be abused. they have some good ideas and if used correctly, could really benefit from susceptible people like myself.

now, if only we could do more with this . . .
/budlightsixpack

Revelations 32:1-5

a revelation that many can learn from:

¹ and smitty and jeanette begat douglas and joseph and doris begat vicki and soichiro begat the sabre and vicki and doug begat LBG and time was changed and all was good. in his thirty fifth year, LBG said unto himself, "thou dost live a lonely and mundane life and thou longs for hapiness and chrome. Maketh the purchath and live your many days left with speed and shine."
² so LBG set forth on his quest for speed and shine and did purchath that which soichiro begat. LBG then did transpire to do that which many others have, which was to becometh a lone bad-ath and keepeth his noodle shaved and his beard long and his oakleys dark and his riding hide thick.
³ and after working the land he did saveth enough dollars, which, in those days were acceptable as currency and made haste to the sabre group website in search of exhaust of the most loudest of noises. he was greeted with warmth and acceptance unto this group, for this group was comprised of those that also purchased that which soichiro did begat. and LBG did find that exhaust of the most loudest of noises and again, all was good.
⁴ he did then live a full and meaningful life until one day he was awakened by one which was certainly of decendance from Eve, who was known in other testaments as the downfall of man. and this one, by the name of Stacy did interject a comment which did change LBGs beliefs from that moment forward:

me: why don't others talk to me when i pull up next to them the way they do with you? i mean other than the boobs thing...
her: because you look mean.
me: what? i look mean?

and henceforth, a smile did embellish the face of LBG, knowing he had reached that destiny, that quest.

her: well yeah, with the shaved head and the goatee and your glasses and jacket. you never smile, you just scowl a lot. it scares people.
me: so i'm a badass.
her: you just look so mean sitting there with the pipes as loud as they are and the chrome and that scowl. it's intimidating.
me: so i'm a badass.
her: i wouldn't say a badass, people just don't want to mess with you.
me: so i'm a badass.

so this meaningless discussion did continue for many moments, but the damage had been made. LBG would never be the same again as he had certainly reached that ultimate goal. that quest to become a badass. so much rejoicing was made that great eve and much lager and rumplemintz was consumed.
⁵ so heareth this story and take away from it this lesson. those that partake of one who was begat of soichiro shall ever become one who is known only as the badass.

and sometimes you go back to the well

and sometimes you do Reindeer Games

exactly my thought after seeing The Forgotten the other night.

I've got this long list of films on my netflix list that are sitting in queue to show up and bitchslap me. i know this is all self-induced, because, well, i choose the films. i guess i could always just clear my queue and add only academy award films and grand scale epics, but what would be the fun in that? and since i've been known to pick a lemon now and again, i know i'm the only one who's to blame, but how often do i have to get kicked in the head to learn? well, we'll see.

this was a film that started with such potential to do something really decent (not great, but decent) and they did the one thing that i thought was TOO cliche, even for a hollywood movie. **SPOILER** they made it aliens. yup, aliens. i kept going back to this ongoing joke that Any and i have about films. can't figure out what's going on? Aliens is always the answer. unfortunately, this was not a joke, it was the fucking plot.

me: WTF? it's fucking aliens.
stacy: no, that's to easy, it's gotta be . . . WTF? it's fucking aliens.
me: pass me the tequilla.

No kidding, it's fucking aliens. i'd have been better off watchin Bring it On. at least that had cheerleaders.

I also caught Ong Bak yesterday afternoon. You have to like martial arts films and have a tolerance for really bad writing to appreicate this, but the action was off tha hizzuk. Tony Jaa makes Jet Li and Jackie Chan look like bitches. it's got the obligatory cool stunts like him hurdling four of five cars in a row while being chased by a mob, but the real action starts halfway thru the film and never quits. and this guy is a bulldozer. i've never seen hits this hard in a film. and the movie makes liberal use of multi-angled, slo-mo action shots to show you the hard hits at least three times in a row so you can feel the real impact of this guy whooping ass. and he seriously fucks some people up in this. he uses a form of martial arts called muay thai which is very basic with no fancy moves, but good use of the arms and legs for impact and damage. i found myself cringing in a dozen scenes.

fifteen buck little man, put that shit in my hand . . .

no keg stands were attempted

stacy and i wanted to thank everyone who was able to attend the party on saturday night. we weren't exactly sure what an engagement party entailed, but a good time was had by all. this was also the first time for both families to meet and it went off without a hitch. we ate, drank, opened a few gifts and got toasted (saluted, not drunk). i also want to especially thank my sister for hosting this shindig at her home. alissa, you did an amazing job and i truly thank you for putting up with all of those people and screaming children. it was all truly a great experience and a lot of fun.

so take me away

i don't mind
but you'd better promise me
i'll be back in time

huey never said it better. lately, i've been cleaning out my closets in preparation for the move in a few months. i've come across old college essays and notes, woodshop projects from 9th grade and charlie daniels records. yeah, records, of the vinyl type. i also stumbled across these and they put a smile on my face on this rainy saturday morning. boys, here's to pick-up tuesdays and thursdays, to paying the refs with quarters and sitting in metal chairs on a scaffolding in the back corner at 12:30 am, sucking down beer, watching the others hustle their asses off. here's to the spectrum.

sit stodgy sit, good dog

i added stodgy's blog link back to the sidebar. since he's off playing in the desert, i was under the impression he'd be doing important, world security stuff, but he seems to have plenty of time to post and leave smart ass comments, so he's back on the right. check out his posts as they're geniune, up-to-date posts from a guy in iraq.

like, gag me with a spoon

I'd like to say that the 80s are back in full force, but i'm not really sure they ever left. yes, i believe everything is cyclical, but the 80s were just 20 years ago. damn, 20 years. it seems like it took longer for the 60s to come back around and that revival did pretty well. in fashion, at least. the 70s made an attempt and luckily, was denied at the door. i guess they didn't meet the requirements of the you must be this cool --------------> to ride this decade! sign. thank goodness, cause the 70s were a pretty shitty decade and i won't even bother rehashing them to prove my point. if you lived in that decade, you'll readily agree without proof.

the 80s were an interesting decade because everything in the 80s was a knee-jerk response to all that was wrong with the 70s and a major slap in the face to those of us who lived thru them both. the 80 brought around great things like new fashion, hair bands, new attitudes and an all around different way of thinking. so aside from hair bands, my favorite part of the 80s was tv. lots of great tv in the 80s and i know it shaped my life and the way i think. The Fall Guy, The Dukes of Hazzard (which technically started in 79, but continued thru the mid 80s), The A-Team and of course, Miami Vice.

So proof that the 80s are back and apparently, still cool, is most of the above listed tv shows are now being made into major motion pictures. now, i don't know if that really means that the 80s are considered cool or filmmakers have just run out of things to do, but nonetheless, they are being made. Yes, the Dukes are being made and recent comments are that it isn't going to be a wacky Starsky & Hutch type of film, but a genuinely decent film. the cast doesn't thrill me, but whether it's decent still has yet to be seen. I know nothing about the A-Team, other than it's on track for 2006 and is being written by Bruce Feirstein who has written the last half dozen James Bond scripts. So, i think it has potential too. What i'm really excited about is Miami Vice. And not because i lived MV like it was my life and owned the movie and soundtrack and 1986 calendar and stationary, but because it's being directed by the guy who directed the tv show, Michael Mann. And if you know anything about Mann, you know he's an amazing director and producer. Proof of that is Heat (or the insider, or ali, or collateral). It's set for next year and should be great.

Now, if we can just get Phil Collins and Glenn Frey to do the soundtrack, then we're golden.

huked on foniks

i weep for the future.

i'm a gamer. i spend a lot of my time online with thousands, upon thousands of other gamers. people like myself who are in for the fun. problem is, and this is an accepted issue with gamers; you spend a lot of time with all ages of people. I'm 35, but i'd wager that my gaming time is spent with more 15 year olds as opposed to those closer to my age. this is acceptable. again, it's an understood and accepted issue with being a gamer. most of the time, it isn't an issue. occasionally, when surfing a board for information, i run across comments like this:

no u guys r'nt the worss clas k, u r like un totchable in pvp n dontt tel me otherwise, i ceen paldns wipe groops of hoard so dont tel me u suk cus rite now ur class is way 2 good at it al

this is verbatim, copied right off the boards. i'm a supporter of gaming and online activity as much as the next guy. more so, sometimes, but what has happened to our youth? i know that texting and gaming and online chats have their own languages, but how much longer would it have taken to spell this correctly? is this how someone actually thinks and spells, naturally? or does it actually take effort to spell this way? if so, why bother? this frightens me and makes me proud of my education. yes, i have issues, and yes, i misspell sometimes, but man alive, what the hell is wrong with these kids? the responses to this quote veered completely off topic and focused on the fact that this person had such atrocious spelling and typing. and what makes this worse is that they think this is cool. the fact that they really look like idiots isn't even a consideration. i'm dumbfounded.