Revelations 32:1-5

a revelation that many can learn from:

¹ and smitty and jeanette begat douglas and joseph and doris begat vicki and soichiro begat the sabre and vicki and doug begat LBG and time was changed and all was good. in his thirty fifth year, LBG said unto himself, "thou dost live a lonely and mundane life and thou longs for hapiness and chrome. Maketh the purchath and live your many days left with speed and shine."
² so LBG set forth on his quest for speed and shine and did purchath that which soichiro begat. LBG then did transpire to do that which many others have, which was to becometh a lone bad-ath and keepeth his noodle shaved and his beard long and his oakleys dark and his riding hide thick.
³ and after working the land he did saveth enough dollars, which, in those days were acceptable as currency and made haste to the sabre group website in search of exhaust of the most loudest of noises. he was greeted with warmth and acceptance unto this group, for this group was comprised of those that also purchased that which soichiro did begat. and LBG did find that exhaust of the most loudest of noises and again, all was good.
⁴ he did then live a full and meaningful life until one day he was awakened by one which was certainly of decendance from Eve, who was known in other testaments as the downfall of man. and this one, by the name of Stacy did interject a comment which did change LBGs beliefs from that moment forward:

me: why don't others talk to me when i pull up next to them the way they do with you? i mean other than the boobs thing...
her: because you look mean.
me: what? i look mean?

and henceforth, a smile did embellish the face of LBG, knowing he had reached that destiny, that quest.

her: well yeah, with the shaved head and the goatee and your glasses and jacket. you never smile, you just scowl a lot. it scares people.
me: so i'm a badass.
her: you just look so mean sitting there with the pipes as loud as they are and the chrome and that scowl. it's intimidating.
me: so i'm a badass.
her: i wouldn't say a badass, people just don't want to mess with you.
me: so i'm a badass.

so this meaningless discussion did continue for many moments, but the damage had been made. LBG would never be the same again as he had certainly reached that ultimate goal. that quest to become a badass. so much rejoicing was made that great eve and much lager and rumplemintz was consumed.
⁵ so heareth this story and take away from it this lesson. those that partake of one who was begat of soichiro shall ever become one who is known only as the badass.