Monday, June 14, 2004

movie reviews

obsessive doesn't begin to describe my love for movies. if you can think of something crazier than obsessive, that's what i am. i dig movies. and from time to time - more frequently than never and less frequently than my "personal me time" - i'll try to post a review of a film i've seen. it may amount to 9.5 words to endless gushings about halley berry's breasts. you get the idea. also, as you see to your right, on the sidebar, i've got a list of netflix movies that i've watched this week. i'm part of the '5 at once' recipient's plan. Basically, i can have up to 5 borrowed movies out at a time. and believe me, i get my money's worth on this deal. so, the sidebar will list my most recent films and what kind of rating i'll give it. this list will only include films, but i frequently rent TV eps as well, so at any given time, i'll have a copy of season 5, disk 4 of the x-files or the sopranos or something like that as well. i won't review any of the tv eps, cause i don't want you thinking i'm gay or something for secretly enjoying buffy or gilmore girls.

the rating system is as follows:

***** (5 stars) - Raiders of the Lost Ark
**** (4 stars) - Anything with Kate Bosworth in tight, black leather
*** (3 stars) - really bad horror
** (2 stars) - anything Jean Claud Van Damme did from the 20th century til now (1*)
* (1 star) - anything with Martin Lawrence in it

1* - this could also receive a 'Meh' or :

sometimes, i'll watch a lot of mainstream films, so when i'm going thru my lindsey lohan spurt, it's just because i wanna sleep with her, not because she's a good actress. sometimes, i'll put stuff up there that you've never heard of like 'Pi: Faith in Chaos' or 'Audition' that i'll suggest highly because they are great films (and 'sick' sometimes qualifies as great). and sometimes, i'll recommend films like 'Irreversable' because they litterally reach the core of human filth and you should only watch it if you want to be hunched over the toilet wretching from what you've just seen. it varies, and my tastes are strange, so don't take it personally, just know that it's my opinion. nothing else.

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