fuck sony, long live harmony

so, about a year ago, maybe less, j convinces me that it's time to start spending horrendous amounts of money on things like hookers and coffee pots and exfoliants and universal remotes. ok, he only convinced me of the remotes, but he still managed to appeal to my darker, electronics-minded (or maybe i should say addicted) side of being a guy and talked me into this sony universal remote. despite the $125 price tag, i bought it and thought it was the bees knees. since my entertainment center looks like the inside of a best buy with varying brands of electronics and knick-knacks, the only way i could complete my mecca, was to buy the ultimate universal remote. without it, i had 4 separate remotes just to watch TV or a DVD. this was a great relief and after a mere 36 hours of intensive study of the 375 page manual and a degree in electronic engineering, i got the remote programmed only to realize it doesn't do everything i really need it to do. so i was back to still using various remotes, but i was contented in knowing exactly what i needed, when i needed and made due with a remote that could have paid a car bill and i could have spend $13 on one at Wal-Mart that did the same thing. Basically, a remote that used macros.

so, i'm sitting on my couch late saturday afternoon and have just finished the mind-bending 1983 horror classic, Sleepaway Camp and i grab the Sony remote to punch a button that has a macro programmed to switch the TV and stereo over to watch some american chopper and it dies on me. WHAT???? WTF???? calm down, it's just the batteries. so i replaced the batteries and it doesn't work. undertandably, i have to reset the time, but, and the owners manual of the remote states this, it will remember all of the macros input previously and all you will have to do is set the time again. BULLSHIT

the time set beautifully, but the rest of the functions were lost. press a button and it beeps at you. press the commander button and it prompts you to set up another macro. press the tv button and it filters thru every component and then dies again. basically, it threw up all over me after less than a year's time and i just ate the $125. i was all kinds of pissed, so i actually used the separate remotes for the rest of the evening thinking i was stuck in some kind of temporary electronics portal that had displaced me to a time that didn't allow the function of macros. well, guess what? i was right. i was stuck in the portal and it wasn't for just a day. it was forever. bitches

i hit the best buy website and found a new universal remote, made by harmony. now, the cool thing about this remote is not only does it allow for macro programming, but it doesn't make you do it. you aren't required to know a bunch of codes from different manufacturers or hit a bunch of different buttons in a certain order to make it work, you do something that no other company has ever done. you connect it to a USB cable to your PC and everything is done online and then downloaded to the remote. my naughty parts are a tingle. you plug it in, write down the name and model of any component you want to have it control and then you step thru an online wizard and it sets everything up for you. it will program the macros for you, which includes renaming buttons, suggesting better ways to set up your components and it doesn't require the knowledge of a single four digit code for a single component. you even have the option to tell it to turn things off that aren't being used, automatically. so if i finish a DVD and want to watch some tv, i press one button and my cable box comes on, the tv switches to the right video channel to watch, the stereo switches to TV and the DVD player is turned off. pure genius. and the website sets up your configuration as a webpage you can log into and change things to keep up with the addition of components and even tells you when the remote's firmware is ready to be upgraded (via that nifty little usb cable).

this whole ordeal just firms my contempt for sony and their overpriced crap. i have finally found my electronic mecca and that mecca is harmony.

oh, and it really helps to have a roommate who works at best buy and can get a $200 remote and extended warranty for $150. nah, nah nah nah, nah...