CODE RED!

two words you really don't want to hear at thirty four thousand feet in the air over las vegas. stacy and i are on our way back from san jose and roughly an hour out, one of the flight attendants casually inquires over the loud speaker if there's a nurse or doctor on board. i'm not concerned, i just continue reading my koontz. Affleck, you the bomb in Phantoms, yo! so roughly eight minutes later, one of the attendants is at full sprint up the middle aisle, knocking over elderly men and stomping mudpits in little kid's heads and another attendant barks "code red!" over the loud speaker. small medical backpacks are torn from one of the overhead bins and the run for the rock proceeds towards the back of the plane. ten minutes later, we're sitting on the tarmac in las vegas and i don't even get to blow three bucks on a slot machine. some middle aged asian guy has a heart attack and he and his wife are treated to a steak dinner at the bellagio for it. i, on the other hand, get to see lovely las vegas from 13B for an hour. and let me tell you, i've never seen a pilot put a plane down on the ground so aggressively in such a short period of time. lunch was coming back up all over the plane. it's like i was flying into love field again.

the honeymoon was great. we spent time in Los Gatos, San Jose, San Fransisco and Napa. if you've never been, Los Gatos and Napa is gorgeous. but as far as i'm concerned, i'll just leave my heart in dallas, thank you. i guess i had some other-worldly memory of chinatown and a deliciously tasty bowl of beef noodle soup from my last visit, but i guess my tastes have degraded since, cause i'm just not into the bastardized version that chinatown has turned into nowadays and the equally mediocre food served at all of these "authentic" restaraunts. it was good to see alcatraz again and pier 39. if yer ever out there, check out knives R us or something like that. we got a steal on a great samurai sword. and if you want some amazingly fresh seafood and clam chowder, dig around pier 37 for Scomas. it's worth the search and the drain on the bank account.

the weather was gorgeous and having a convertable for the week was exactly what we needed. Napa was another drain on the bank account. by week's end, we should have two cases of wine arriving on our doorstep. most of it from Louis M Martini. never did i think i'd spend sixty bucks on a 2001 cabernet, but this shit's the bees knees and worth every penny. coppola is overrated and overpriced and stay away from berringer. but then you probably already knew that. we were warned to stay away from napa and just head west to sonoma, but i'll be damned if we didn't just stay happily drunk in napa for two days. and if yer looking for the best steak you've ever had in your life, hit Mustard's on 29. and you won't even have to pay extra to get every waiter in the joint to stare at your wife's tits. i think it was the only place in that state that they were actually looking at her and not me. i'm so pretty...

we arrived back home to find that TXU had fucked up our account and had shut our electricity off the day after we left for cali, so the apartment was uncomfortably hot and the refrigerator had smells coming from it that can't be described with any adjective. fifteen hours after our arrival back in dallas, we finally got our electricity turned back on. and to top it off, we're still running at a steady 28.8 kbps right now as SBC is still bending us over the table. this was easily the worst move i've ever made in my life. thank god i had something great come out of it.

it's back to a semi-normal life on monday and i'm not looking forward to it. but at least i'll have two hundred dollars worth of old grapes to help me get thru it all.