the new moped, cont.

so i post up pics of the bike, and within seconds, flipper comments:

Very slick. You need to talk to our friend Jeff about his bike,
he's already wrecked one...

now, why would you say that? why? is there any reason to discuss accidents with a guy who hasn't been on a bike in 12 years? why is that the first thing everyone brings up?

see, i was going 120 down George Bush and came around this corner and this grandma was strolling across in her walker with some groceries, so i locked up and slid, like 200 yards and then did like 9 flips. i caused this 18 car pileup and people were running around the median in flames and cars were blowing up and even though i only had a pair of shorts on, i only lost one of my arms and both of my ears, so i was lucky. Huh? Oh, and then the grandma fell down and broke her hip and now my girlfriend won't call me back because i'm all scarred and disfigured...

why is any of this necessary?