the good, the bad and the ugly

the good
this isn't so much good as it is just fucking great. i got engaged on sunday evening. i proposed, she accepted and now i've been wearing this shit-eating grin on my face ever since, making a feeble attempt at looking inconspicuous. i'm not really one to brag about good things that happen to me. for one, it's just arrogant. i can enjoy my spoils, but there's no reason to be that guy that everyone hated back in high school that brags about his new 911 and parades it around in front of the rest of us poor bastards driving our '79 caprice classics. i just don't want nor need that kind of attention. i try to do my job in this life, somewhat in the background and don't need a pat on the back or attention for it. stacy is my pat on the back. problem with this whole scenario of 'who i am' is making it difficult for me, cause i just wanna tell everyone. i'm excited and i know everyone around me is just dying to drop everything they are doing to hear my good news. hehehe, ok, maybe not, but it's a great feeling. she makes me happy.

the bad
it's such a joyous occasion, so how can it suddenly become so hard? so many things to consider when getting married. and i'm not talking so much about the physical act of getting married, i'm talking about the change in my life. it's not easy to change your whole lifestyle at 35 and the way you act and think. but it's going to happen. i'll not only have one person to consider, but two. her eight year old son. luckily, he likes video games. let the corruption begin!

i know this won't be easy, on either of us, but it's worth it. nothing worthwhile is ever easy. cliche, i know, but i believe it. i hope we're just as lucky as our parents who've both sets have stayed married, coming on almost 40 years each.

the ugly
moving

i could have left it at that and i know that everyone understands. she doesn't live in a very good neighborhood and is eager to get into better living conditions. i like where i live, but i also live in a 3 story townhome and i don't relish the idea of moving all of my shit down the stairs. and then there's the consideration of her 65" HD TV. this thing dwarfs most third world countries and it scares me. that, on top of a piano should make our coupling a time to remember.