random shit

making the world a safer place for us to carry our concealed permits
stodgy is making his way to the sandbox this coming weekend (sandbox=iraq; news to me, but i'm not hip to these young kid's terminology just yet) for a relaxing 6 month stint. well after 10 years of doing this job, stodge will finally get to do what he signed up for - killing an iraqi. we had dinner with Pops and his old lady last night to celebrate stodge's intent and had a lovely time. mrs. pops whipped us up an amazingly wonderful (as usual) dinner of turkey and stuffing with all the trimmings. she then pushed us beyond the edge of comfort with a homemade cheesecake that was so good, it made me wanna slap my mamma. after the mrs. left to take the young'uns home, pops pulled out his newest pride a joy, a rifle of some type that made stodge a bit squeamish over the amount of recoil it produced. sorely rubbing the spot on his shoulder, he proudly talked of his efforts for the next half year and a somber mood set in over the full-bellied men. discussions moved to my future with the girl of my dreams and pops couldn't quit talking about the girl that is not only intelligent, but rides and carries. he's wondering why she doesn't carry her smith on the pig with her and Any proceeded to pull some obscure fact from his ass about carring a concealed weapon over two consecutive counties and it no longer being an issue. my question was what happens if the counties weren't consecutive. we then decided that superman would have no need to carry.

i know i've said this numerous times in the last few days, but stodge, come back to us safe with all your limbs intact and make us proud to be americans. i know you will. take care buddy, our thoughts are with you always.

they said it best
Let me tell you how it will be
There's one for you, ninteen for me
Cause I'm the tax man
Yea I'm the tax man
Should five percent appear too small
Be thankful I don't take it all
Cause I'm the tax man
Yea I'm the tax man

started doing my tax return this weekend. it seemed like a good idea until i got to best buy to pick up a copy of turbo tax. the picking up wasn't really an issue. from door to box was about 2-3 minutes from box back to door was another 25. the line around the store from the registers stretched to the back door of the store and then into virginia. to make things worse, they only had two registers open, both of which were manned by nine year olds (or two of mental equivalence). back on the road was an equally exciting adventure as every man and woman over the age of 82 and under 5 foot (think of the old lady in Ferris Beuller's Day Off in the caddy) decided it was prefferable to drive in front of me. i fired up turbo tax and discovered that this year includes a sales tax break. buy any large item (house, vehicle, 5+ indonesian hookers in one evening) and get a sales tax break that you can claim. even with bentley and hooker purchases i made this year, i'm not getting much back from the gov. kind of a disappointment.

the shortest sentence in the english language takes months of preparation
i never thought saying 'I do' would take so much effort. in previous posts, i commented on people coming out of the woodwork offering advice for how to handle certain issues for my immediate future and now that i've had a chance to figure out what needs to be done to pull all of this off, i'm starting to feel a little overwhelmed, but thankful of all the help. i can't tell you how much i now know about metals and diamonds. with printouts the length of a Dostoevsky novel and eager help from every woman who's just gone thru this procedure of having 9 months of their intended's salary surgically infused to their finger, i'm starting to understand rings. we're only doing a small ceremony with families only and things like engagement parties are starting to be discussed. what kind of cake and flowers for the ceremony and who's paying for what are big discussions. discussions that stace and i aren't even involved in. it's frightening. i'm thinking about how many cable boxes we'll need in the new place and trying to decide which room gets tivo and which gets an HD receiver.

using the whole fist there, doc?
i started physical therapy for my back last week. as it turns out, my back isn't as bad off as they originally thought which is a huge relief to me. after 15 years of pain, some of it severe, i'm glad i don't have to have surgery. as it turns out, i'm just out of shape and spend to much time at a desk. go figure. so on my first appointment, the PT figures out what half of my problem is and fixes it right there. apparently, my left pelvic bone has rolled forward and outward, making my left leg longer than my right, making me overcompensate and causing pain in my back. after jerking on my leg and doing things to my pelvis only stacy's had permission to attempt, she get's it back into place and levels out the playing field, literally, for me. lots of back and spine popping (sounds i've never heard from my back) followed up to the second apppointment. this is where the real therapy began. i'm laying on my stomach in a pair of shorts only so she has access to my back and then proceeds to inflict pain on me like i've never felt in my life. prison camps have nothing on this woman. she does what's called a skin roll on my lower back where you pinch rolls of skin between your fingers and then roll upwards like you would if you were rolling a homemade cigarette. well, the muscles in my back are like a 2x4 of solid oak. you could bounce a mack truck off my back and i wouldn't even notice it. because of this, the skin rolls was more of just a skinning. she pulls and tugs and rolls on my back for 10 minutes and by the end of it, i was signing away anything worth money to her just to make her quit. LBG doesn't cry much, but i was a 12 year old girl seeing Titanic for the first time with this woman. and the screaming that came from me . . .

i've got three more weeks of this to go and i hope and pray that there's no skin rolling involved. i don't mind crying in front of a woman, just not a woman i'm paying. all in all, my back has started doing better. the PT mixed with the drugs i've been buying from that guy in the alley has really helped me out a lot.

the loudmouth is staring to calm down
you've probably noticed that i'm not posting as frequently as i did last year. i'm not sure whether i've just run out of things to say or i'm just finding peace in my world again. maybe my life just isn't that exciting or funny any longer. who knows.